YOU KNOW YOU'RE OUT OF COLLEGE WHEN:
**Your salary is less than your tuition.
**Your potted plants stay alive.
**Having sex in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
**You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
**You have to pay your own credit card bill.
**You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.
**8:00 a.m. is not early.
**You have to file for your own taxes.
**You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
**You're not carded anymore.
**You carry an umbrella.
**Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
**You start watching the weather channel.
**Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.
**You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus 
attack.
**You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
**You stop confusing 401K plan with 10K run.
**You go to parties that the police don't raid.
**Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.
**You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore.
**Your car insurance goes down.
**You drink wine, scotch & martinis instead of beer, rum and 
tequilla.
**Your parents start making casual remarks about grandchildren.
**You feed your dog Science Diet instead of Taco Bell.
**You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed.
**College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up.
**Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
**THEN: discussing with your friends: GPA's, spring break plans, 
and tonsil hockey;  NOW: mutual funds, interest rates, and 
wedding plans.
**Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.
**Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of 
one.
**You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN, 
Sportscenter, and MTV News.
**You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.
**METABOLISM SLOWDOWN
**Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.
**You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
**Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.
**When drinking, you say at least once per night, 'I just can't put it 
down the same as I used to'.
**Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real 
work, not video games.
**You're actually willing to pay a bit more to drink in a bar that's
not full of 21-year-old kids.
**Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.